Live or Die
by Cengiz
Summary: "It's up to you who's gonna live and who's gonna die. It's all in your hand. Who do you choose?" Ethan said grinning spitefully.


**A/N**: Hi, please don't hate me for this.

It's a mixture of a one-shot and a songfic. The song is "Cry" by Jason Walker.

I neither own anything of primeval nor anything of the song. ^^  
>You can listen to the song while reading it.<p>

I thank lovingthis for some thoughts and for correcting the mistakes, and for the changes to make it T-capable.

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><p>Ethan was holding a gun against Becker's forehead to stop him from fighting.<p>

"Stop now." Be said in a loudly voice.

"Where are they?" Becker answered angrily.

"You wanna find them, then listen." He replied. "There are three corridors in front of you. On the left you'll find the sweet little Jess, on the middle you'll find the really defensive Abby and on the right there's Connor."

Becker was about to run as Ethan stopped him again.

"Uh-uh-uh. I'm not finished." He said with an impaired wide smile. "In each room there is another door, with a very, very hungry raptor behind. Unfortunately there is no possibility to open the exit-door from the inside. Only you can do it. BUT, if you open one exit-door, to free the person, the doors in the other two rooms will instantly be opened and the raptors kill everybody inside."

"So, as long as I don't open any exit-door they will be safe?"

"Uh-uh. All doors will be opened automatically in 20 minutes. So it's up to you who's gonna live and who's gonna die."

"Why do you do all this? What have we done to you?" The Captain asked horrified.

"Nothing." Ethan grinned spitefully. "That's all just for fun."

"You insane monster. I'm not making any life-and-death decisions for my friends!" He screamed in a mixture of anger and desperation.

"Tcha. Seems you have no choice, but you can sit and wait here and in 20 minutes everybody will die. So you don't have to explain yourself to the survivor. It's all in your hand. Who do you choose? Jess, Abby, Connor? Connor, Abby, Jess?" Ethan said laughingly and wandered off.

Becker sat on the ground. Tears running across his face.

_* Oh no, where did all the years go *  
>* And was it really worth all of this *<em>

'How shall I choose between my friends. I can't do this. I can't.' He thought.

/-/

_* Heartache that was handed to me *  
>* Holding on just don't make sense *<em>

Becker just stood still, while Connor screamed and punched against his chest after Becker told him what Ethan had said.

_* But the hardest part of letting go *_

"Why did you save me? Why not her? Why me?" The one year older man cried still punching.

_* Is tryin' to find a way *  
>* To let you know * <em>

Becker took all in without a struggle. As Connor eventually started to loose his power he took Connor's head in both hands and answered him calmly with tears in his eyes.

"Because you're important for the team. More important than anyone. You're the only one who understands the anomalies."

"But Abby.."

"I knew how strong she is. She is the strongest person of all of us. I knew if anyone could fight against a raptor then she would be."

"What if she dies?"

_* So we'll just cry, cry *  
>* On each other's shoulders *<br>* Cry until it's over *_

"She won't. Believe me, she is strong. She will make it." Becker answered and took Connor into a big hug. He held him tight as the scientist started to shiver and cried it all out into his chest. Tears were running across his face, he closed his eyes and kissed Connor caringly on his head.

/-/

Becker entered the intensive care room. Abby was lying unconscious on the bed, eyes closed, skin pale. There were no sounds except the *beeping* of the ECG and the periodically *shhh* sounds of the ventilator. Emily sat next to her on a chair and held her hand. She looked up as she recognized him.

"Can I have a minute, alone?" He asked with a low voice.

Emily nodded gently, looking at the crestfallen man. She slowly stood up and left the room.

_* Can't it just be over *  
>* And we'll just cry, cry *<br>* Cry until it's all gone *_

Becker went to Abby, took her hand and whispered: "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I've failed. I had to choose. I'm sorry for not choosing you, for letting you down."

He thought about the missions they've been through. About the times he had saved her. About the time in the future, where he had risked his life to save her brother. The time she, Connor and Danny went through the anomaly and didn't come back. How he had tried to find them.

_* Been holding on for too long *  
>* Time for us to move on *<em>

"I've failed to protect you."

He chose to save Connor first. Together they ran to Abby. She was fighting against the raptor. Becker and Connor could finally kill it. Connor took a deep cut on his back as the creature jumped onto him. Becker got injured on both arms and his chest before the raptor finally died. Abby was lying on the ground, a deep flesh wound on the shoulder, cuts in her face and on both arms. Connor went down to her in shock and took her into his arms, pressing his shirt on her major wound to prevent the bleeding and started to talk to her continually.

_* I'm tired of tryin' to find a reason why *  
>* So let's just cry *<em>

Becker gently squeezed her hand and pressed a kiss on her forehead before he said a last time: "I'm sorry, I've failed."

Then he went out of the room. Emily and Matt stood outside.

As he passed their way Matt asked: "Where are you going?"

"To Jess." He said and left.

/-/

The only light in the room was shining above her, making her skin look even more pale than she was. He went to her side, looking at her blank face. He gently stroked with his left thumb across her colourless lips. His right hand softly caressed her head and hair.

"My Jess. My lovely little Jess."

The wounds on her body were covered by a white blanket. After he had left Connor and Abby he went to Jess. He thought that she would already be dead. That it would have took only a few seconds for her to die, that it would be quick and painless, but he was wrong. As he entered her room the raptor stood over her. Wounds all over her body. But her eyes were still open, her breathing short and quick. Seeing this he went in a rage and killed the raptor with his bare hands. Even in his blind fury he was shocked at his own capabilities. After the raptor was dead he went to Jess, kneeling at her side, looking her directly in the eyes. She looked back, focusing his hazel eyes.

"Becker." She spoke and took a last breath. Then she was gone, her eyes still open. He didn't cry, just looked at her for a while.

_* I've been thinking 'bout my life and *_

Now he stood beside her body. Thinking back to how they met. How his life had changed. He thought about her warm smile, her infectious laughter, her incredible short skirts and her ridiculous impractical shoes.

A light smile appeared on his face.

_* How much time I've wasted *_

And he thought about the wasted time, he never got the chance to ask her out, to make her smile one more time, to kiss her on her lips.

_* I'm ready to put it all behind *  
>* Let it all be yesterday *<em>

He bent down to her, giving her a last kiss. Her lips felt cold.

_* But the hardest part of letting go *  
>* Is tryin' to find a way *<em>

He looked at her for a while. Then he took his gun out of his holster, finding comfort in it's weight. Holding his finger on the trigger.

_* To let you know *_

Tears streaming down his face he whispered his favourite thing.

"Jess."

_* So let's just cry, cry *  
>* On each other's shoulders *<br>* Cry until it's over *  
>* Can't it just be over *<br>* And we'll just cry, cry *  
>* Cry until it's all gone *<br>* Been holding on for too long *  
>* Time for us to move on *<br>* I'm tired of tryin' to find a reason why *  
>* So let's just cry *<br>* Let's just cry *_

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><p><strong>AN:** Thanks for reading it.

I hope you liked it. Please leave a review and tell me what you think.

:o)


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